On and Off Debate of Dance Moms

For the past years, from the beginning of its premier, I've watched and still love to watch Lifetime's reality TV show--Dance Moms. The talented group of girls, Abby's controversial teaching methods, and the moms complaining and drinking cocktails, this show is quite something to watch--or, entertain myself from these "real life" dramas. I've even liked the show on Facebook, and through social media, I've been observing the comments that people post, or should I say, "trying to make a strong definition of who is good or bad" comments of the show. Well, I have seen enough of people's complaints of unfairness that Abby Lee Miller (the owner of the dance company) gives to the dancers, which mom is being the best, and above all, the question that we all must know, "who really is the best dancer in the group?" I personally am not a dancer, but I am a musician--violinist, who is able to relate to the people in the show.

Abby Lee Miller is commonly known as the tough and "abusive" dance choreographer/teacher to the girls. But, she stands tall in the ground--disregarding people's complaints about her teaching methods due to the reputation that she, her mom, and the company--Abby Lee Dance Company holds: the number of national titles that her students won and former students being hired in a top competitive and professional dance jobs. I must say that she has the right to be proud and push those girls based on the reputation that she and her mom has built for last 20 or so years. But, does that mean that she has the right to yell and make her students cry? For the past 10 years of learning the violin, I've had many different types of instructors. I had on teacher who was super duper nice about everything I did, one teacher who was super annoying because she was tough with the littlest things, and my current instructor, who sets high standards but doesn't yell, but rather makes me have the motivation and responsibility to do better. All teachers have different styles, but there was one teacher that I will never forget. She was my middle school orchestra director, and she was one of the most challenging person that I had worked with. She resembles Abby Miller in a way too. She was intimidating, shouted time to time, and she wanted one thing from me and the other students--winning and being able to survive in the real professional world of music. Although I've spent some time crying and being frustrated with her music class (in Abby's world: her studio her world), I grew confident, and I was able to grow as a young professional musician. Abby yelling to her students is not abusive in my opinion. Actually, I don't even know if she yells all the time because camera/tv only shows the parts when she's yelling so that the show can be dramatic and entertaining. Abby is yelling to correct her students, and I am positive that in a world of professional art industry, coaches and directors will point you out in front of people. Currently I am in a symphony orchestra, and my director does shout your name out if you are not doing the right stuff. It is very embarrassing, and in order for this to not happen or for the students to not cry and whine during this possibility of embarrassment, Abby is preparing her girls by reminding them about mistakes and what other professionals may do to her students in the future. In that sense, Abby's famous words, "Save your tears for the pillows" is right. And yes, "everyone is replaceable." In a professional world, no one is going to wait for a dancer to get back in the game. The show must go on and there are thousands of talents that can be replaced to save time and money. But, Abby's abusive teaching is not the controversial part, it is the game of playing favorites to the girls and moms. The question that I really want to ask to Abby is "why just Maddie to compare? Aren't there other students that you can brag about too?" One thing that I don't understand is the reason why Abby must compare "the one and only" Maddie to other girls. Why can't she compare her former dancers too or other talented girls in other age category? Maddie winning all the trophies, holding national titles, and etc is one of the reasons why Abby loves her so much. According to Miller's words, she says that Maddie brings the performance to another level by putting her emotions instead of only getting the techniques hammered with points during competitions. I truly think that other girls are missing the point of performance or art. I think that art is best when it is felt, and when you give your whole soul and passion to the performance. Cliche as it may sound but it actually works--I know how emotions are useful during my music performance. So be like Maddie when performing? No...I think Abby should change her words "dance like Maddie" to "dance to the fullest to win." It's impossible to perform or create art like how another person does; it's like duplicating a work, and like my art teacher saying, "Paint like Monet!" Am I the only one who thinks that way? I think it was season 2 after-show gathering, when Abby discussed about her game of "favorites," and Holly mentioned how her favoritism is not professional. But then, Abby quickly defended herself by saying that high school has valedictorian and salutatorian. Abby, those top two students in high school are not picked based on favorites, but through GPA. If Maddie were to have a GPA in her studio, I'm pretty sure she would be the valedictorian because of all those national titles and etc. But just like how many winners or top students are placed in dance studio or school, the ranking of students are capitalistic. More a student can afford, he or she is more likely to do better on tests, exams, and etc. Well, same as Maddie...I think she is able afford (not just the money wise but her mom's sneaky kiss-up to Abby and etc) private lessons and attention from Abby, and so she is able to do better than others. Is that justice? That's the question. I personally think it's not right that Maddie gets all the attention, however, the moms yelling, screaming, throwing cocktails and using nasty language need to stop because a student must earn the attention by showing enthusiasm and motivation. So, is Chloe not working hard enough? I think she is working hard, but I think she must work harder to gain attention from Abby because of Darwin's survival of the fittest. But I must say, even in professional world, favorites are always present. The moms need to get over it,  and they need to learn how to be classy and play the game safely. I know how moms act because my mom was once a strong music asian mother. But, asian mothers were cold throats--they were sneaky snakes.

So........the question that we must make a decision, who is the best dancer?
I don't think there is "the" best dancer, but there are good dancers in Abby's studio. Each dancer has different styles that he/she can perform best. I can play classical and romantic era songs better than baroque period music. And, I suck at Jazz! But regardless, I still must learn how to master the basics of those genres that I suck to prepare for the professional world, which is what Abby is doing to the girls. So moms...stop asking Abby to choreograph the perfect or well-suited dance for your child.

As for picking the "best" mom, I think all moms lack in two things: patience and quietness. Well, except Holly, but who knows...

I love dance moms because it's not just about entertainment, but I can analyze further. Anyone in need of more cocktails by watching Christi and Leslie's huge and abusive fight?

"None of the Above" in Tests

I apologize if you guys are annoyed by my "excuse" or complaints about tests not measuring intelligence/knowledge. But I realized something long time ago. A lot of multiple choice tests have "None of the Above" as one of the answer choices. But, "none of the above" means that there are no correct answers. Then... why is there an answer? Because the answer says "none of the above" doesn't initiate that there is no answer to the question. So pretend number 45 on a test has no answer--why do we choose "none of the above" as an answer if there is no answer...

Hmm... Am i just crazy and abstract?

I guess so...

Toni Morrison's 'the Bluest Eye' came alive

"the Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison (1970)
Image Link: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41gSSNgpYJL.jpg

Recently, I read one of Toni Morrison's novel, The Bluest Eye, which is one of the memorable and truthful novels about racism, social corruption, and the society's standards and acceptance of what or who is considered as beautiful. Before I read further into the novel, my sister said the novel was not one of her favorites due to her bad experiences with a teacher and class during the reading. So, I took her word, and at first, I did not like the reading at all simply because it was confusing and very segregated. Each parts or chapters were not flowing well, and in the prologue, there is a part where all words are mushed together--no commas, spaces but only the words glued together. However, I kept reading and those small segregated parts and stories started to paint the whole picture. After all, when you paint or make a quilt, who builds the whole thing at once? From fabric to fabric, the whole quilt is made. Well, the novel is just like the quilt. Each sections of the characters, journals, and perspectives all tie in together at the end, making a big quilt with one big theme--racism. One of the characters, Pecola Breedlove is an outcasted young black girl who wishes for blue eyes so she can be accepted and respected like the white girls. Pecola is raped by her father and later gets pregnant. The baby dies, and at the end, she "receives" (in her imagination) the blue eyes. But still, with blue eyes, people and even her imaginary friend doesn't accept her. Isn't that deep? What's even more meaningful is that there are thousands of minorities who wishes for white people's beauty like Pecola. And surprisingly, I know a long time friend who is a senior in college right now, and she is Pecola Breedlove.

My friend is half hispanic and black. Her skin is like chocolate mixed with light peanut butter, and her hair, is extremely curly and fluffy. Her eyes are dark brown, but if you see her in the sunlight, those dark brown eyes can gloom like red ebony wood during autumn. Even though her physical appearances are pretty, and the tone of her hair and skin are well-balanced, she still wishes for green blue eyes, light butter cream skin, and blond or brunette--non-frizzy or curly hair.  One day, she showed me a picture of herself, and said the picture was one of her favorites. Not because it was a good picture of herself, but mainly due to the tone of her skin. Her skin tone was light and depicted like a golden apple butter. "My skin looks so good here," she said proudly. Then I asked, "do you wish for lighter skin?" And quickly, without a second thought or time to filter her words, she said, "I am the darkest in the family, and I wish I can be light." Then she described her youngest brother's physical appearence: light skin--which you can see his veins and freckles, light emerald green eyes, and beautiful wavy chocolate brown colored hair. "My brother is going to be so handsome." It's great that she thinks her brother will be handsome--but, those beauty and illusion of beauty was only set or idolized due to her belief of blue eyes, white skin and blonde hair beauty. Ever since she said that she wished for white person's looks--"beauty," I started to observe her closely as if I were dissecting a new bug species on a planet. Everyday, she would try to talk loud in class to gain white girls' attention, and if that weren't enough, she tried to serve them. When those girls told her to shut-up, then without any hesitant nor questions, she would shut-up, whereas when minorities (who are also her friends) asked her, she would be defensive. When I talk to her, and a white girl interrupts, she talks to the white girl and ignores me; she only uses me when those white girls are among their own group. Most of the days, she would try to dress-up, but due to her financial limits, she tries to dress up by wearing skirts and random shirts. But, she didn't wear skirts and random shirts to gain attention, it was due to one of the white girl's compliment that she's made long time ago--"I love that skirt on you! You are so fashionable." My friend was seeking for their fake compliments.
There came a big football game ceremony. Everyone wore school spirited shirts to support the team. During our preparation for school spirit and ceremony, my friends and I were just taking pictures and having laughs--enjoying ourselves. Normally, she (aka my friend Pecola Breedlove) joins me and my friends. But instead, she was following the white girls, taking pictures with them, hugging them, and playing with one of white girl's blonde hair. My friend--Pecola, was so overly obsessed with white girl's hair because it was blonde. My friend--Pecola was so obsessed with their attention, because she wanted to feel like a white girl. Then at the end of the football game, I went up to her and started chatting. While I was talking to her, the whole entire time, she was rolling her eyes around--trying to find those white girls. Then she said, "oh. I think I am going home with them so..." This wasn't the first time. One day when her dad couldn't pick her up from school at the right time, I offered my house to stay. Then she agreed and said that would be a great idea. But, when this white girl appeared, she said "oh never mind. I don't need to go." My house is not a daycare center or a place that you use if and when you need it. I offered and volunteered to have her come to my house, but she quickly changed once another "superior race" came up to her.
In reality, those white girls' compliments are not compliments. They always comment on someone positively and talk shit behind someone's back. How do I know this? Well, when my friend Pecola got a haircut, those white girls complimented. But, when she was not present, I heard them talk shit about her new look. That beauty: blue/green eyes, white skin and blonde hair is not "beautiful." I have seen latino women who are beautiful--did they have blue eyes? No, but still they were beautiful. A lot of muslim and Indian women are extraordinarily beautiful. Do they have blue eyes? No.
"I don't want to marry black people. I don't find them attractive." Her racism and discrimination to her own race is all shaped and impacted by her idolization towards white people. It's disappointing and unfortunate to see a girl who is so obsessed with gaining blue-eye-beauty just like the character Pecola from Morrison's novel. What's even more shameful is that there are a lot of minorities out in the world, who acts like my friend and Pecola. I truly wish that my friend Pecola finds herself soon. "Foolish ones are those who does not know themselves." Why can't individuality be accepted? That even goes to Koreans. They purposely try to look white these days. Those k-pop stars are obsessed with pale skin, yellow hair, and colored eye lenses.

I am proud of my race and my looks. Honestly, I don't want to change my looks to manufactured and corrupted society's consideration of beauty. Come to think of it, why are people so obsessed with white-skin Barbie dolls?
I am not saying all white girls act this way. This one white group does in my school. It's just baffling to see racial segregation even if they say that they are not racist. Seriously, those girls only hang out with their own race. Please do not think I am exaggerating; I am speaking the truth.

***For privacy, I will not mention or call names.

Stop the Attention

Attention Sign Clipart
Image Link: http://www.clker.com/cliparts/5/7/d/b/1195442352382851478zeimusu_Warning_sign.svg.hi.png

walk here she goes again
walking back and forth--
trying to be on each side;
one is the idol group
the other--to her eyes are the bees nest

but, one has to be chosen
or one is better than the other.
the idol group is just her fantasy:
she feels like an entertainer
or at least the praised and loved one

the bees n' nest roam around
still hanging and making honey in the clan
but it's so different, so vague--
or so digested and full
solo but never in dark hole

after she is done with her fantasy,
back the roaming bees, she acts painless--
no nerves, no feels, no moods

she just kept jumping back and forth,
trying to be on each side at time
one is the idol group for her escape of truth
the other--filled with roaming bees, still making honey,
has worn out from the jumping she has made.

How I Started the Violin

The passion for classical music--specifically violin, grew when I was in junior high. However, it never came to my mind that I was able to perform or learn the violin with eager. Before I realized that I had some musical talent and motivation to do better with it, I first wanted to learn the flute and continue learning visual arts and soon become the next young artist. I won art competitions and got multiples of art awards in elementary school...so why not? But then, third grade came, and it was time to make the decision of orchestra, band, or chorus. I then checked flute next to band sign-up sheet, but quickly, with the control-freak eager of a typical asian mother, my mom changed it to violin in orchestra--string group! I hated it and I said, “I will never continue this crap!” From fourth through sixth grade, I hated the violin, and I was desperate to give my 20-dollar rented violin away. Then one Christmas orchestra concert, I was the last chair in a violin section, and I think I made about 1000--or more--like billions of mistakes. As the audience applauded and we, the orchestra group stood, I saw my mom’s face. She wasn’t mad--but, she had the face of 'good-job' and 'forgiving' face. So then, I decided that I wanted to make her proud. I know! Such a mama’s girl--right? The summer before becoming 7th grade, I practiced hard and later, I became the concertmistress and that’s how my passion for violin grew! Then I realized that back then, I hated accepting challenges. But now, I say, “hey let’s have more challenge.”

Are you ready to accept challenges? I know. It's frightening because we are so fearful of failures.

Humble Bee

Bumble Bee Clipart Photo
This is not for Georgia Tech Mascot!
Image Link: http://vector-magz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/bumble-bee-clipart2.png

"Bzzzz. Bzzzz." That is a sound of bumble bee during spring and summer. But certainly, here in this world, that "bzzzz" bumble bee sound is more like smartphone notification sound or rather, people twitting or updating their statuses about their "proud" life.
I am officially sick and tired of this "bzzz" social media showing off. Every time I go on Facebook, Tumblr, and etc. it's all about 'their' life. Of course, that is what social media is for, but it's not just a regular "show off".

Example 1:
There is a woman who is a wife of a pastor, and she loves posting/updating her statuses by posting a picture of her "beautiful" daughter and captioning the photo by saying stuff: "My daughter... Why are you so PRETTTYYYY?????", "My beautiful and smart daughter!", "Why is my daughter so preetttyyy?", "my beautiful daughter and handsome husband," and etc. (I can literally go on and on).

This is how it looks if I were in her shoes...

My beautiful baby! Why are you so gorgeous and beautiful???? Can someone tell me???

I am not disagreeing with her. Trust me... I think she's pretty. What makes me mad is the fact that she shows off her daughter WAY TOO MUCH! I understand that she is an only child for her, but that does not mean that you have to show-off. What you should do especially as a pastor's wife and a woman who studied theology, is simply appreciate the fact that you have a daughter--and, be thankful without saying it in front of everyone. There are thousands of women out there who cannot conceive a child. Even in the Bible, it says that conceiving a child and starting a family is a gift. Take the gift, don't brag about it, move on and live as it goes.

Example 2:
I see this A LOT! Students who apply to colleges "must" (it's almost as if it's illegal to not post something like this) update their statuses saying what college they got in and etc..
True, it is amazing that you officially got into college, and you are showing your 'intelligence' but what is not true and wrong about it is that no one needs to praise or give attention to you just because you got in to *blank* college.

This is how it looks like all the time...
                   Status update: GOT INTO AUBURN!!!
                   Status update: Guess who is going to Berklee? This girl! MEEE!!
                   Status update: *picture of the acceptance letter* Accepted to Boston University!

This is awfully annoying and seems like everyone just wants attention and be praised by others. Do not prove your intelligence through those acceptance status updates. Maybe try proving it by actually being humble. How is that a proof then? It's a proof because you are showing more intelligence by not showing off about it.

Example 3:
THIS IS SPECIFICALLY FOR PARENTS! Almost all parents brag about their kids. There is no need to brag about them. You know why? Because we get it. Of course, it's your baby and child. Of course you will be proud. In fact, almost every parent in the world has at least one thing that they must be proud of their child (unless parents abuse their children or children escape from home).

This is how it looks like 24/7 everyday, everywhere and infinite and beyond...

Mom 1:Hey my daughter just applied to early decision scholarship program.
Mom 2: oh wow....that's demanding! My daughter took the SAT last month and we got her score back, she got 2100!
Mom 1: wow! Congratulations! my daughter just tries when she can; she doesn't seem like she's trying hard these days...
Mom 2: oh really? my daughter never takes a nap after school and studies until 1 am.
Mom 1: wow. she is very determined.
Mom 2: she doesn't even miss any school. She's really smart and I think she can get a perfect score next time. She wants to go to Penn State University... you know her cousin went to Penn state and became a dentist.
Mom 1: looks like she will be successful!

 BAM... THAT RIGHT THERE IS A TYPICAL CONVERSATION THAT I HEAR ALL THE TIME!
That's not it... here's more...

*picture of a baby* "my sweet little boy. Mama loves him!"

seriously....

Can we all make those stupid, crappy, and aggravating "braggy" statuses and conversations into humble bee? Don't buzz like a loud bumble bee. Buzz like a Humble Bee!